They tell lies.
N͓̠͜O̱͞O͏̞͈̬T̫̺ ̣̗̝͟N̗͓̦̳̯͟ ̴OO̰̞̙̝̮̞̠T̞̘̘̣̟̳͎

fatbisexualpenguin:

People who say bi erasure doesn’t happen need to realize Freddie Mercury is know as the most famous homosexual man when he identified himself as bisexual. If that’s not bi erasure I don’t even know.

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i-am-of-asgard:

This actually makes sense

your move america 

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sketch-elf:

A muggle-born’s sibling sends them a howler in the middle of the school year and it arrives while they eat. When they open it, all it does is simply scream “WHAT TEAM?”. Nearly all the muggle-borns shout “WILDCATS!” before returning to their meal, leaving the pure-bloods in total confusion of what the hell they just witnessed.

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thelazystrippers:

anotherwalkingscandal:

johnhoustonstockton:

just wanna get rich enough to buy my mom all the shit she deserves 

Amen

i feel this so hard.

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omidspissedoffcat:

my blogging technique is staying gone for a while and then posting 20 posts persecond

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lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

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  1. baby: A-a
  2. mom: Apple? Say apple.
  3. baby: *jumps*
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jhscdood:

reggiesfilthylittlesecret:

Save my family’s sanity. This isn’t even close to being a joke.

I have 61 followers. I’m hoping that even if only a few of you share this or care at all, that something amazing might happen.

I’ve seen stupid posts for people trying to get to Disneyland get up to 100,000. I’m hoping a honest to…

This is for my IRL friend who needs it. I have the inside scoop. A vacation is a must right now.

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S